When students describe Abi Smith, visiting professor of communication and debate coach, they point to her bubbliness, confidence and hardworking personality.
They would never imagine she was a victim of domestic violence.
Smith shared her experience of domestic violence at the hands of a family member at a convocation event Sept. 27. Smith spent her teenage years living in various shelters for victims of domestic violence. Her aunt and uncle took her in at 18 years old, under the condition that she enroll in school. Education and faith helped set her on a path to where she is today.
“The most important thing (my experience) has done is make me starkly aware of the good people in the world and find joy instead of focusing on the pain,” Smith said in a personal interview.
Having earned her GED diploma while living in a women’s domestic violence shelter, Smith now has a bachelor’s degree in communication studies and a master’s degree in communication and social influence. She is a single mom of two loving daughters, Maddy, 7, and Mariah, 9.
Smith’s convocation was called “Stepping Up in the Smaller Moments.” She talked about the importance of words and communication.
“You step up and speak out in those smaller moments, because it is the right thing to do,” Smith said at the convocation.
She uses the Bible as a reference for comfort, wisdom and knowledge.
“Proverbs 18:21, Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” Smith said at the convocation.
Her experience
Smith has lived through many experiences that helped make her the woman she is now. She vividly remembers the first time her ex-boyfriend hit her. She was 15 years old.
They were parked in a parking lot of a local grocery store in Arroyo Grande, California. They were debating whether or not to go inside the grocery store to pick up a friend who worked at the frozen yogurt counter. They disagreed. She humored the situation and made a joke about how ridiculous the discussion was.
“Before I could even take a breath at the end of my statement, I saw his hand coming toward my face,” Smith said. “I didn’t duck. I didn’t block it. I felt it, hot, stinging against my cheek. I remember feeling stunned. I didn’t speak. I just looked away and tears pushed silently, though uncontrollably, down my face. He apologized and made me promise not to tell anyone because of how it would look.”
This experience is one reason why Smith feels so strongly about convincing people, especially students, to use their voice to feel empowered to speak up.
Debate helped Smith find her voice.
Connie Anderson, her public speaking professor at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, California, recruited Smith to the college’s fledgling debate team after Anderson heard Smith deliver her first assigned speech. She noticed Smith’s profound confidence and delivery skills to speak in front of others and thought the debate program would fit Smith.
Smith fell in love with the debate team, and Anderson decided to take Smith under her wing and help her. They both transferred to the University of Alabama. Smith received a full-ride scholarship to be part of the debate team, under Coach Ed Lee. Her team competed against many schools, including Harvard. The team ranked 17th in the country. This was a life-changing experience for Smith as she said she overcame the feeling of being just another “high school dropout.”
While in Birmingham, Smith emailed the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence to be a part of a group called Survivors Overcoming Abusive Relationships. (SOAR). She became the co-facilitator of SOAR and was able to be involved with a lot of advocacy groups who helped survivors of domestic violence. She trained survivors in public speaking and helped them regain confidence. She spoke to The University of Alabama at Birmingham and police organizations about how to deal with and respond to victims. She had the opportunity to speak to a Candidate’s Forum in Montgomery on the importance of leading anti-violence initiatives, which she said she found very fulfilling.
While she was at Alabama, Mike Davis, director of debate at James Madison University, encouraged Smith to apply to grad school at Georgia State, where he was getting his PhD.
Smith earned her master’s degree at Georgia State and then worked at Samford University in Alabama, as the assistant director of debate and lecturer for five years.
Smith met her ex-husband in college and married him the day after graduation in 2005. She had Mariah in 2007 and Maddy in 2009.
Smith said she felt overwhelmed with being a working parent. She applied to a debate coach posting at Pepperdine in 2012 to be closer to her family. With her mom living in Atascadero and sister in Arroyo Grande, both near San Luis Obispo, Smith was content with having everyone live on the Central Coast of California. While her husband initially came with her, he left Smith and moved back to Alabama in January 2014 after nine years of marriage. He needed to deal with some personal issues, Smith said.
New beginnings
Once Smith began teaching at Pepperdine, she said she felt like something was missing. She wanted to contribute to Pepperdine and help others in the most meaningful way. This gave her the idea to speak at convocation and start a club to train women to arm themselves with words and knowledge and to make themselves their own protectors. She believes that if victims make it a priority to protect themselves — physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, then they can reclaim some of the power that feels stolen when they have been assaulted.
Convocation Director Gus Peterson and the Chaplain’s office facilitated a meeting for Smith to set up a self-defense convocation for women. This led Peterson to connect Smith with Hannah DeWalt, the Health and Wellness educator coordinator, because he said the two women have similar hearts for working on issues related to sexual assault. DeWalt later emailed Smith with the idea of speaking at a convocation event for Sexual Assault Awareness week.
Sexual Assault Awareness week is part of the sexual assault prevention efforts mandated by Title 9, a law that helps ensure college campuses are free from any sort of discrimination, harassment or violence based on sex, DeWalt said.
Smith said the Sept. 27 convocation was the first time she felt fulfilled while being at Pepperdine.
“You don’t expect that to be her story,” DeWalt said. “She is so full of joy and resilience and uses her experience for good. It gives her great authority to speak on the topic to empower others.”
Cora Pruitt, a sophomore political science and economics major, attended the convocation in September. She said Smith’s speech moved her and she appreciated how Smith was able to make such a tough topic interesting.
While Smith hopes to keep the conversation going about domestic violence and victim support, students said her words made a difference.
“I was surprised to learn that Smith had been a victim of domestic violence because she is so confident and well put together in the classroom,” said Robin Kang, a senior organizational communication major. “It shows that all of Smith’s hard work has paid off.”
Her impact at Pepperdine
Smith juggles teaching the debate students, communication theory, public speaking and an upper-division argumentation and advocacy class. She said uses her courses as an opportunity to do what she loves and communicate with her students.
“Interacting with young people full of hope for the world and driven by passion knowing that evil and violence will affect them, motivates me to continue this work every day,” Smith said.
Although Smith has been through a lot, she said she doesn’t let it stop her from having a positive outlook on life.
“She is really fun-loving and humorous,” Hira Naveed, a sophomore undeclared major said. “She make the class easy to learn.”
Esther Chung, one of Smith’s current debate students, said her constant energy and devotion to the debate team motivates her to do better.
“She is one of the most dedicated and hard-working persons I have ever met,” said Chung, a freshman double major in political science and international relations. “She really cares for her students and wants them to do well. I love her as a professor, debate coach and most importantly a friend.”
Smith’s students repeatedly said they could see how much Smith cares.
“Professor Smith is very engaging with her students,” said Alessandra Arza, a senior liberal arts major. “She isn’t afraid to touch on sensitive topics and is really open.”
Smith is passionate in everything she does and her students can attest to it.
“Abi is electric,” Kennedi Syphax, a sophomore interpersonal communication major, said. “She is light. I don’t really know how else to describe her. She is so energetic and it’s honestly contagious. I can’t not be in a good mood when I am around her. Abi is also strong. She is tough in her convictions, and incredibly well spoken. She has a heart of gold that shines through, everywhere she goes.”
Most importantly, faculty and staff members praise her caring personality and significant influence she has made at Pepperdine.
“She has made a strong impact on our students through her teaching,” said Ken Waters, divisional dean of the Communication Division. “She has also been an excellent debate coach and our team members have improved greatly under her coaching and care. She gladly gives up her weekends to take students to debate tournaments, to empower them to do their best and to encourage them to keep trying, even when they have faced challenges.”
While her experiences have molded her, Smith said she has found peace and comfort in her ability to share with others as well as her walk in faith with God.
“I get through each day by thinking about how my experiences can help other young women,” Smith said.
Patricia Wong completed this story in Dr. Christina Littlefield’s fall 2016 Jour 241 class.
